12/31/08

NBA Star is probably in more trouble with his wife.

Barkley busted for
DUI. In a hurry
to get a B.J.

12/30/08

Heather gets off easy for Reckless Driving

Good news for Locklear.
Judge threw out DUI charge.
Three years probation.

12/29/08

She had been ill for a long time

Lark Previn- Daughter
of actress Mia Farrow
died on Christmas day.

12/28/08

Alaska Must Be So Proud

Sarah Palin has
a grandson- Bristol Palin
had a baby boy.

12/27/08

Ben Gibbard is a lucky man

Zooey Deschanel
is engaged to singer from
Death Cab For Cutie.

12/26/08

John Costelloe died of apparent suicide

Actor who portrayed
Jim "Johnny Cakes" Witowski
on Sopranos- dead.

12/25/08

Fox has won, and now the fans may lose

Judge has ruled that
Warner Brothers had no right
to film The Watchmen.

12/24/08

This will be #4

Lance Armstrong says
that he and his girlfriend are
expecting baby.

12/23/08

Tons of Fun at the Lohan House

Lindsay Lohan says
that she has a half sibling.
Her dad denies it.

12/22/08

She played CatWoman on the Batman TV show

Singer and actress
Eartha Kitt died from cancer.
She was 81.

12/21/08

1973 Recording Brings $30K

A recording of
John Lennon singing while drunk
was sold at auction.

12/20/08

It's pop culture, but not really "Hollywood"

I should probably
write something about that guy
throwing shoes at Bush.

12/19/08

She was the voice of the StarFleet computers

Gene Rodenberry's
wife died- best known for playing
Nurse Christine Chapel

12/18/08

Employee got arm caught in giant fan

A man broke his arm
while assisting magician
David Copperfield.

12/17/08

Six times what is normal or allowable!

Piven diagnosed
with high mercury levels
from too much sushi.

12/16/08

Sounds like a country song

Mindy McCready
is hospitalized after
suicide attempt.

12/15/08

Matt Lauer really stuck it to him

On the Today Show
Tom Cruise apologized for
seeming arrogant.

12/14/08

I thought it was really funny.

New York Governor
says he was offended by
Saturday Night Live.

12/13/08

Doesn't look a day over 29

Aniston poses
nude for GQ magazine.
She's 40 years old.

12/12/08

81st Annual

Hugh Jackman will
host Academy Awards
this February.

12/11/08

These are not the vampires you're looking for

American Pie
director Chris Weitz will do
a "Twilight" sequel.

12/10/08

Her name was Dakota

Macaulay Culkin's
older sister was killed in
traffic accident.

12/9/08

For his own safety

O.J. Simpson is
being kept separate from
the other inmates.

12/8/08

Not Looking Good

Former pin-up girl
Bettie Page in hospital
after heart attack.

12/7/08

His wife is named Yessica?

Lost's Josh Holloway
is going to be a Dad.
Baby due next year.

12/6/08

I'm sure Claus is very sad.

Sunny Von Bulow.
28 years in coma.
Died in nursing home.

12/5/08

But he hasn't found the real killer yet!

Justice has been served.
O.J. Simpson will spend at
least 9 years in jail. 

12/4/08

They do sound a lot alike

Joe Satriani
has sued the band Coldplay for 
copying his song.

12/3/08

What a waste.

William Balfour charged
with killing the family of
Jennifer Hudson.

12/2/08

Isn't that why you pay them?

Boy George found guilty
of restraining and beating
a male prostitute. 

12/1/08

It's actually pretty good

Singer Keith Sweat
has written a song about
Chicken McNuggets. 

11/30/08

Smells Like A Winner

Courteney Cox Arquette
will appear in ads for the
new fragrance- Spotlight. 

11/29/08

Someone Is Gonna Pay (Me)!!!

Travis Barker sues
dead pilots for negligence.
Greedy rat bastard.

11/28/08

After One Episode...

Rosie O'donnell's
Variety Show: cancelled.
Poor ratings/ reviews.

11/27/08

Never Gonna Give You Up

We all got Rick Rolled.
Macy's Thanksgiving Parade
featured Rick Astley.

11/26/08

What A Greedy Bastard.

Singer Axl Rose
demanding apology
from Dr Pepper.

11/25/08

It will be a baby tool!

Baby on the way
for TRL host and big
tool- Carson Daly. 

11/24/08

Jackson says the $7 million was "A Gift".

The Prince of Bahrain
is suing King of Pop for
backing out of deal.

11/23/08

Dancing Queen

And the winner is...
Brooke Burke, the third girl to win
Dancing with the Stars.

11/22/08

This Is Ridiculous

The Screen Actors Guild
asked members to OK strike.
Here we go again?

11/21/08

Bronx Mowgli Wentz?

Jessica Simpson
is an aunt, Ashley Simpson
had a baby boy.

11/20/08

Wow, an amicable celebrity split.

Madonna and Guy
have reached divorce settlement.
8 years down the drain.

11/19/08

It Sounds So Profoundly Wrong

This year Suri Cruise
tops Forbe's list of Hottest Tots.
Congratulations!

11/18/08

What A Cry Baby!

Britney said her life
is "worse than a jail sentence"
in an interview.

11/17/08

Sounds like someone needs a pay check

Carnival of Light-
unreleased Beatles single
may see light of day. 

11/16/08

The Club Patrons Thought It Was Just Cocaine.

Lohan was attacked
with flour bombs by PETA 
for wearing fur stole.

11/15/08

She learned about it on the web!

E's Daily 10 host
Debbie Matenopoulos
getting a divorce. 

11/14/08

2 Replacements For Amy Poehler

Abby Elliot
and Michaela Watkins will
join SNL cast. 

11/13/08

He Is Due In June!

Announced on The View-
Pregnant Man- Thomas Beatie
is pregnant again!

11/12/08

So, I guess Will Sasso is available.

After 14 years
FOX Network has finally
cancelled MAD TV.

11/11/08

He played with Jimi Hendrix

Drummer Mitch Mitchell
found dead at Benson Hotel
in downtown Portland. 

11/10/08

What A Dick.

Word is Joe Jonas
dumped Taylor Swift, and is now
with Camilla Belle.

11/9/08

"Something He Ingested"

Britney's little boy
had allergic reaction
and hospital stay.

11/8/08

More Family Guy

MacFarlane signed a
hundred million dollar deal
with the FOX network.

11/7/08

Girl Next Door To Marry Football Star

Kendra Wilkinson
has gotten engaged to the
Eagles Hank Baskett.

11/6/08

I'm amazed they lasted 2 years

Evan Rachel Wood
has split up with her boyfriend,
Marilyn Manson. 

11/5/08

Andromeda Strain, Rising Sun, Congo...

Michael Crichton died.
Author of Jurassic Park 
and many others. 

11/4/08

Change has come

Barack Obama-
44th president of
the United States.

11/3/08

She wanted kids, he didn't.

Idol's Simon Cowell
and Terri, his girlfriend of
6 years, have split up.

11/2/08

It Beat High School Musical 3

Black Ice #1.
AC/DC's new CD-
only at Wal-Mart. 

11/1/08

Bobby is still a kid after 13 years?

The Fox TV show
"King of the Hill" cancelled.
Will end next season. 

10/30/08

Rob Reiner's mother died

Estelle Reiner said
"I'll have what she's having" - When 
Harry Met Sally.

10/29/08

He wants to focus on his music

Joaquin Phoenix says
he's retiring from acting.
He is 34.

10/28/08

Wow, what a great and original idea

The CW
is planning on reviving
Melrose Place next fall.

10/27/08

You can take the girl out of the trailer...

Britney Spears dad named
permanent conservator
of Britney's affairs.

10/26/08

Way to breed, dude.

Charlie Sheen and wife
are expecting twins. That makes
5 children for him.

10/25/08

Bad Times For Dream Girls Actress.

Jennifer Hudson's
mother & brother were killed.
Nephew is missing. 

10/24/08

This sounds like good material for a country song

Lorrie Morgan has
filed for bankruptcy, she says
she's "restructuring".

10/23/08

Shatner is pissed!

TV's Captain Kirk
says he wasn't invited
to co-star's wedding. 

10/22/08

If the Guns & Roses CD comes out before end of the year

Free Dr Pepper!
One bottle for everyone
as they had promised.

10/21/08

Soul Singer was 63

Dee Dee Warwick died.
Was Whitney Houston's cousin, 
and Dionne's sister. 

10/20/08

Good, she can finally focus on her music again

Britney Spears jurors
could not break a stalemate and
declared mistrial.

10/19/08

Bizarro

Governor Palin
and Tina Fey crossed paths on 
Saturday Night Live. 

10/18/08

He's the boyfriend on Desperate Housewives

Gale Harold had a
motorcycle accident.
Slow recovery.

10/17/08

Rough Year For Jake

After 30 years
Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal's
parents splitting up.

10/16/08

It happened a couple months ago, apparently.

David Duchovny
and wife Tea Leoni
have separated. 

10/15/08

She's on tour, he's got a new movie- Not Shocking

As speculated,
Madonna and Guy Ritchie
getting a divorce.

10/14/08

No more objects to be signed!

Beatle Ringo Starr
says he won't read anymore
fan mail. Too busy. 

10/13/08

After 10+ years- Chinese Democracy 11/23/08

New Guns & Roses,
finally will be released,
end of November. 

10/12/08

Political Suicide

David Letterman
will have McCain as a guest
on his Thursday show. 

10/11/08

Seriously, is anything else even playing?

For a second week
Beverly Hills Chihuahua
is number one film. 

10/10/08

She Played Myrtle Fargate

Eileen Herlie died.
She was on All My Children
for 32 years. 

10/9/08

Electrical Malfunction

Actor Nick Nolte
injured in blaze that damaged
his Malibu home.

10/8/08

Trouble At The Mansion

Playboy Hugh Hefner
is now down to two girlfriends
since Holly has left.
 

10/7/08

Hooray!

Sarah Silverman
and her ex, Jimmy Kimmel
are back together!

10/6/08

Too Difficult For A 31 Year Old Olympian

Misty May-Treanor
is off Dancing with the Stars
due to injury.

10/5/08

It's The End of The World.

Top movie this week-
"Beverly Hills Chihuahua".
These are the end times. 

10/4/08

Could spend the rest of his life in jail

O.J. Simpson was
found guilty of kidnapping
and armed robbery.

10/3/08

People who attended Howard Sterns Wedding-

Sarah Silverman, 
Kelly Ripa, Chevy Chase,
Billy Joel and more.

10/2/08

C'mon kids, Mommy has a movie premiere in New York

Brad, Angelina,
and their 6 children are in
Manhattan this week. 

10/1/08

Somebody needs a pay check

Phish reuniting
for a series of concerts
after 4 year break. 

9/30/08

Concerts Postponed Due To "Undisclosed Illness"

During her sound check
Janet Jackson became ill.
Went to hospital.

9/29/08

Even Cowgirls Get The Blues (And Take Drugs)

Mindy McCready
is going to prison for 
prescription drug fraud.

9/28/08

But she looks fantastic.

Fresh out of treatment
actress Heather Locklear gets
DUI Charges.

9/27/08

Movies, Cars, Salad Dressing

Paul Newman has died.
He led a very full life. 
He was 83.

9/26/08

Sort of, he did take breaks.

Pseudo Magician
David Blaine hung upside down
for 60 hours. 

9/25/08

Chris Rock Supports Obama

Chris Rock's opinion-
"Vote for the guy with 1 house."
He told Larry King.

9/24/08

File Under: Duh

Singer Clay Aiken
has come out of the closet
and said he is gay.

9/23/08

Rock N Roll Hall of Fame

Run DMC, Chic,
and Metallica have all
been nominated.

9/22/08

Officially 12.24 Million Viewers.

Emmy Awards Show
had super small audience
because TV sucks. 

9/21/08

He likes the pot on the pot.

Singer George Michaels
busted in restroom, again
for alleged drug use. 

9/20/08

Both are in critical condition

Travis Barker and
DJ AM both survived
fiery plane crash.

9/19/08

Editorial

The Jonas Brothers.
I think their music is crap
and I hate their hair.

9/18/08

Contrary to the LA Times report...

Paris Hilton's dogs
were not attacked & eaten
by a coyote.

9/17/08

I would watch that sex tape

Megan Fox engaged
to 90210 star
Brian Austin Green.

9/16/08

Amy Poehler Joining Office Spin-Off

SNL actress
is not returning after
maternity leave.

9/15/08

Wish You Were Here

Here's a good one from my buddy Steve M-

Great gig in the sky.
Pink Floyd Keyboardist Rick Wright,
Dead at 65.

9/14/08

Maybe we'll get him this time.

O.J. back on trial.
Robbery & kidnapping
at Palace Station.

9/13/08

Set Phasers To.... Love?

George "Sulu" Takei
getting married Sunday to
boyfriend Brad Altman.

9/12/08

They Got Matching Tattoos!

There is a rumor
Lindsay Lohan and girlfriend
are getting married. 

9/11/08

LAX doesn't care about black people.

Kanye West charged with
vandalism at airport
in Los Angeles. 

9/10/08

I Think we all learned something today...

Judge dismissed lawsuit.
3 Defendants said Borat
deceived them. Boo hoo. 

9/9/08

I Swear This Is True

L.A. High School has
a new freshman football coach
Ashton Kutcher. Weird.

9/8/08

Rebecca Romijn, because she's pregnant.

Jerry O'Connell
is sorry for calling his
wife "huge" on Late Night.

9/7/08

He was promised "Significant Bonuses"

"No Country" lead actor
Tommy Lee Jones suing for
$10,000,000.

9/6/08

They are apparently not McCain supporters

Heart's Nancy Wilson
pissed about Palin using
song Barracuda. 

9/5/08

X-Files Curse?

Writer Chris Carter
is in the hospital for
acute exhaustion.

9/4/08

Yeah, that guy from Joe Dirt

David Spade's a dad.
Playboy Playmate/ ex-girlfriend
had a baby girl.

9/3/08

Cat Fight at the GQ Awards

Singers Elton John 
and Lily Allen got in 
verbal fight on stage. 

9/2/08

In a world without voice-overs...

Voice-over legend
Don LaFontaine died. He was
68 years old.

9/1/08

It Took Three Seasons

Deal or No Deal
winner was first to win the 
million dollar case.

8/31/08

The Sopranos with Pineapple

James Gandolfini
got married in Hawaii
to his fiance.

8/29/08

Take It Easy With The Jesus Juice

Happy Birthday to
King of Pop- Michael Jackson.
He's 50 years old. 

8/28/08

Like We Didn't See This Coming

David Duchovny
checked himself into rehab
for "sex addiction".

8/27/08

Cause of Death is Inconclusive

Andre Young Jr,
son of rapper Dr Dre,
dead at age 20.

8/26/08

Bad Month To Be A Black Celebrity

Former Trailblazer
Kevin Duckworth died last night.
He was 44.

8/25/08

Not the singer who just got busted for coke a couple weeks ago, the other one.

Bare Naked Ladies
singer and his friends survived
a plane crash today.

8/24/08

Hill Top Home= $4.8 Million

Ed McMahon sells home.
Was at risk of foreclosure 
after loan default.

8/23/08

His other kid is named "Pilot Inspektor"

Actor Jason Lee
and girlfriend have baby girl.
No name was announced. 

8/22/08

More Stupid Than Corky Romano

Chris Kattan and wife,
after 43 whole days,
have separated.

8/21/08

Second Child For The Musical Couple

Gwen Stefani and
Gavin Rossdale have a boy!
They named him Zuma?

8/20/08

Sad Music News

Saxophone player
and founding member of the
Dave Matthews Band died.

8/19/08

A Double Mastectomy Will Do That

36 year old 
Christina Applegate says
she is cancer free.

8/18/08

Migrating from the big screen to the small screen

New on CSI:
Crime Scene Investigation-
It's Laurence Fishburne.

8/17/08

I betcha there was dancing

Portia De Rossi
and Ellen DeGeneres
got married today.

8/16/08

Half Century of Madonna

Material Girl
celebrates birthday today. 
She's 50 years old.

8/15/08

I Blame The Defense Against Dark Arts Teacher

Harry Potter film
pushed back from Fall of this year
to Summer next year.

8/14/08

DMX and Walmart?! My Favorites!!!

Rapper DMX
arrested outside WalMart
for missing court date.

8/13/08

He's no Brad Pitt. She's no Jessica Simpson.

Word on the street is
Jennifer Aniston and
John Mayer have split. 

8/12/08

Note to self- Don't shoot a Beatle

Mark David Chapman
denied parole for fifth time.
24 years served.

8/11/08

200 Haikus!!!

I have found beauty
in something that is ugly
over and over.

Dark Knight still on top.
Four hundred forty million-
3rd highest ever.

8/10/08

You see this cat Shaft is a bad mother--

Singer Isaac Hayes-
South Park Chef, Oscar/Grammy
winner- died today.

8/9/08

Original King of Comedy was 50

Actor Bernie Mac
has died from complications
due to pneumonia.

8/8/08

It's A Pop Music Miracle!

Clay Aiken is a
dad- Parker Foster Aiken
was born on Friday.

8/7/08

She wore a gown... he wore jeans (tacky).

Singer Jewel married
her rodeo champion
boyfriend Ty Murray.

8/6/08

FBI done investigating Heath death.

Feds close Ledger case.
Won't subpoena Mary Kate.
No charges filed.

8/5/08

Two More Heirs For The King

Lisa M Presley-
She looks like her Dad in drag.
She is having twins.

8/4/08

Insert Driving Miss Daisy Joke

Morgan Freeman is
in serious condition
after flipping car.

8/3/08

It's All About Catching It Early

36 year old
Christina Applegate has
early breast cancer.

8/2/08

$14 Million For Baby Pictures?

People Magazine
paid for exclusive rights to
Pitt-Jolie pictures.

8/1/08

Hard to be funny when you're coughing.

Comedian/ Actor
Bernie Mac in hospital.
Case of pneumonia.

7/31/08

Her publicist says "She's fine".

Actress Liz Taylor
is in hospital for an
undisclosed reason.

7/30/08

The "Hey, What's That Smell Tour", Seriously

Cheech and Chong are back.
Comic duo will tour
and tell new pot jokes.

7/29/08

Jerry Lewis Is Not A Terrorist

Lewis was cited
for having gun in luggage.
It was just a prop.

7/28/08

They Both Had Adverse Reactions To Meds

Amy Winehouse and
Kelsey Grammar both taken
to the hospital.

7/27/08

Lebouf Adds Insult To Injury, Literally

Shia arrested
for DUI, rolled his truck,
injured hand and knee.

7/26/08

The Bachelor Has failed It's Mission

Bachelor Matt Grant
and his fiance have split
after 3 whole months.

7/25/08

End of an Era

Mark your calendar.
Friday, May 29th is
Jay Leno's last show.

7/24/08

Kid Rock Is Stupid

1 year probation
and $1000 fine
for waffle house brawl.

7/23/08

Now it's Lyons & Mankiewicz?

Ebert & Roeper
are leaving "At The Movies".
I give two thumbs down.

7/22/08

Estelle Getty Died

The most golden
of the Golden Girls has died.
She was 84.

7/21/08

He Is Denying It

Actor Christian Bale
allegedly assaulted
his Mom and Sister.

7/20/08

Dog Fighting, Then Cocaine, Now This...

Rapper DMX
arrested- gave fake name to
dodge hospital bill.

7/19/08

Donna, Kelly, and Brenda too.

Shannon Doherty
will have a role on the new
90210.

7/18/08

Thank you God! It's a miracle! Thank you!

Kevin Federline
and Britney Spears have settled
custody battle!

7/17/08

Just open the God damn case!

Deal or No Deal host
Howie Mandell is up for
an Emmy award.

7/16/08

If I Had a Million Dollars, I'd Buy You Some Blow.

Barenaked Ladies
singer Stephen Page charged with
cocaine possession.

7/15/08

He played Andy Keaton on Family Ties

Child star Brian Bonsall
violated probation.
Skipped out on drug test.

7/14/08

Maybe she was f_____g Matt Damon?

Sarah Silverman
and Jimmy Kimmel announced
they have broken up.

7/13/08

They both weighed about 5 pounds

Knox and Vivienne.
Brad & Angelina's twins.
A boy and a girl.

7/12/08

They are all working on the film "W"

Actor Josh Brolin
and others were arrested
in Shreveport bar fight.

7/11/08

I got chills. They're multiplying.

Actress and singer
Olivia Newton John
married her boyfriend.

7/10/08

Seriously, this is not right.

Jamie Lynn Spears
publishes baby photos.
Hooray for teen whores!

7/9/08

Sunday is her name.

Nicole Kidman and
husband Keith Urban had a
baby girl, Sunday.

7/8/08

She's a Model

Matt McConaughey
and his girlfriend Camilla
had a baby boy.

7/7/08

His name is Justin Long

Drew Barrymore and
her boyfriend the "I'm a Mac"
guy, have broken up.

7/6/08

Alex Rodriguez is probably crushed.

Madonna says she
is not getting a divorce
or banging A-Rod.

7/5/08

This Weeks Headlines...

Pregnant man gave birth!
Man beheads Hitler wax work!
ABBA Reunites!

7/4/08

She just couldn't hide it anymore

Wonder Woman star
Linda Carter says that she's
an alcoholic.

7/3/08

Unfunny Clown News

Bozo the Clown died
of congestive heart failure.
He was 83.

7/2/08

Dude, you were married to Christie Brinkley!

Peter Cook gave teen
$300,000
and had sex with her.

7/1/08

Gambling Debts

Girls Gone Wild founder
being sued by Steve Wynn for
$2 million.

6/30/08

She's a Model

Former SNL
star Chris Kattan married his
girlfriend- Sunshine Tutt.

6/29/08

Only 80,000 People Saw It

Amy Winehouse sang
and punched a fan at London
music festival.

6/28/08

He had 20 groomsmen

Season 2 Idol
Ruben Studdard got married.
They met at WalMart.

6/27/08

It's like yours, but smaller.

Federal courts have
halted distribution of
Mini Me sex tape.

6/26/08

They only filed a month ago. That's fast!

Actor Bill Murray
and his wife of 11
years got a divorce.

6/25/08

Great, another Spears girl.

Britney is an aunt.
Jamie Lynn Spears had baby
girl, Maddie Briann.

6/24/08

Depression, Anxiety, and still pretty good looking.

Heather Locklear checked
into facility for
psychiatric help.

6/23/08

There are 7 words you can't say in a haiku

George Carlin has died.
Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker,
motherfucker, tits.

6/22/08

Don't Do Drugs Kids

Amy Winehouse has
early stage emphysema
due to crack smoking.

6/21/08

In A Row!

Ellen wins Emmy
for host, fourth time. The View lost
for eleventh time.

6/20/08

Do it at an airport and it's called "Air Rage"

Naomi Campbell
sentenced for attacking two
police officers.

6/19/08

They don't take kindly to criminals.

Martha Stewart
has been denied visit to
United Kingdom.

6/18/08

The never ending train wreck.

Amy Winehouse was
hospitalized after she
fainted in London.

6/17/08

Can you believe she's 75?

Joan Rivers foul mouth
gets her kicked off live TV
show called "Loose Women".

6/16/08

Aliens, Terminator, Jurassic Park

Visual Effects
master Stan Winston passed on.
He was 62.

6/15/08

Hospitalized for Hangover.

Kid Rock cancels show.
Stomach cramps/dehydration
from drinking too much.

6/14/08

She's Fergie and Andrew's Kid.

Princess Eugenie
reprimanded for naked
"high jinks" on campus.

6/13/08

Trapped in closet, but did not pee on that girl.

Chicago jury
acquits R Kelly of all
charges against him.

6/12/08

It Just Gets Better.

Hulk Hogan's ex-wife
dating a 19 year old.
She's 49. Gross.

6/11/08

Estranged is Right.

Hulk Hogan's ex-wife
wants him jailed for not paying
his part on condo.

6/10/08

He gave all his salad dressing money to charity.

83 year old
movie actor Paul Newman
battling cancer.

6/9/08

Yeah, but the iPhone 3G has GPS.

Jessica Alba
and Tori Spelling both had
baby girls this week.

6/8/08

Tatum who?

Tatum O'Neal was
arrested in New York for
buying crack-cocaine.

6/7/08

He actually got his ear bloodied in that one scene.

Bob Anderson died.
He portrayed young George Bailey
in "Wonderful Life".

6/6/08

Well this is weird.

Wonder Woman star
Linda Carter found body
floating in river.

6/5/08

I hear she's already a better actor.

Fast and Furious
Vin Diesel and his girlfriend
had a baby girl.

6/4/08

Hopefully it's not an alien baby.

Gillian pregnant!
This will be the third child for
the X-Files actress.

6/3/08

They're Dropping Like Flies!

Audrey Hepburn's Spouse
actor/director Mel Ferrer
died at age 90.

6/2/08

Kelsey Grammar- lay off the fatty foods!

Frasier and Cheers star
had a minor heart attack
while paddle boarding.

6/1/08

The King Kong exhibit burned down.

Big fire damages
Universal Studios
back lot and film vault.

5/31/08

He didn't even live there.

Very suspicious
fire burns down mansion owned by
rapper 50 Cent.

5/30/08

Artificial Insemination

Idol Clay Aiken
is going to be a dad,
but still might be gay.

5/29/08

It's Hedley.

Actor Harvey Korman
of Blazing Saddles fame, died.
He was 81.

5/28/08

You aren't missing much.

Sharon Stone banned by
China for saying earthquakes
caused by bad karma.

5/27/08

A Bachelor Once More

George Clooney and his
girlfriend Sarah Larson have
split after one year.

5/26/08

He also directed Tootsie

Out of Africa
director Sydney Pollack
has died of cancer.

5/25/08

He played Ravenclaw student Marcus Belby

Teen actor Rob Knox
from next Harry Potter film
stabbed during bar brawl.

5/24/08

More Racy Miley Cyrus Pics!

Why are we all shocked?
Just a dumb 15 year old
like the rest of them.

5/23/08

He's been good lately

New York Governor
grants full pardon for Slick Rick
attempted murder.

5/22/08

He said it hurt real bad

Harrison Ford gets
chest waxed in new TV spot.
All for rain forests.

5/21/08

David Vs David

David Cook is the
new American Idol.
Suck it Simon Cowell.

5/20/08

She married a guy named "Cash"!

Jessica Alba
got married at the courthouse
in Beverly Hills.

5/19/08

Why does anyone need a $12,000 mink coat?

Lindsay Lohan sued
for allegedly stealing
mink coat from night club.

5/18/08

He's no Burt Reynolds

Loni Anderson
married folk singer Bob Flick,
kept her maiden name.

5/17/08

Rock N Roll Wedding

Rocker Pete Wentz and
Ashlee Simpson got married.
I give it two years.

5/16/08

It's legal in California.

Portia de Rossi
and Ellen De Generes
are getting married.

5/15/08

Man! I Feel Like A Divorce!

After 14 years
Shania Twain and husband
getting a divorce.

5/14/08

24 Times

Record set for most
Tonight Show appearances
by Dwight Yoakam.

5/13/08

Is he an obstetrician?

Jack Black has confirmed
that Angelina Jolie
is pregnant with twins.

5/12/08

First Bomb of the Summer

Speed Racer brought in
Twenty Million. Cost to make-
One Hundred Million.

5/11/08

I wanna have a birthday party in Monaco.

Bono turned 48.
He had dinner and cake with
Brad Pitt and The Edge.

5/10/08

He's going to hell.

Former friend says in
new book that OJ confessed
to killing Nicole.

5/9/08

That's how they do it in Canada

Nickelback singer
gets "driving prohibition"
for drunk driving charge.

5/8/08

Wow, a dog fighting/drug addict rapper?

Rapper DMX
charged with animal cruelty
and drug possession.

5/7/08

Just a small ceremony at her estate in the Bahamas

Mariah Carey
and Nick Cannon were married
in secret last month.

5/6/08

"My hands should be on your body at all times."

Man going to jail
for stalking Uma Thurman.
He lived in his car.

5/5/08

I didn't even know they were dating?

Scarlett Johansen
and boyfriend Ryan Reynolds
are getting married.

5/4/08

Disney Magic

Man jumps to his death
from the 14th floor of the
Disneyland Hotel.

5/3/08

And Conan will replace Leno

NBC announced
Jimmy Fallon will replace
Conan O'Brien.

5/2/08

Summer Blockbusters

Which superhero
will win the box office fight?
Batman? Iron Man?

5/1/08

Fascinating, not.

Cher has admitted
she dated Tom Cruise when he
was "just a shy boy".

4/30/08

Today on the Oprah show

Blaine set world record.
Held breath seventeen minutes
and 4 seconds. Gasp!

4/29/08

I bet the cops had a good time with this one

C.S.I. Co-Star
Gary Dourdan arrested
for drug possession.

4/28/08

Remember, she's 15

Miley has regrets
about her sexy pictures
in Vanity Fair.

4/27/08

She was in Transformers.

Megan Fox has been
named world's sexiest woman.
She is pretty hot.

4/26/08

She broke her wrist in 2006?!

Shirley Temple Black
had her 80th birthday,
fell, and broke her arm.

4/25/08

He played guitar for Korn on tour.

Carmen Electra
is engaged to be married
to Rob Patterson.

4/24/08

Pay Your Taxes

Actor Wesley Snipes
sentenced to 3 years in jail.
So, no Blade part 4?

4/23/08

And George was on Deal or No Deal.

Set your alarm clock.
First Lady Laura Bush is
hosting Today Show.

4/22/08

Disney Magic

Miley Cyrus has
signed a book deal to pen her
memoirs. She's 15.

4/21/08

A Sad Day

Kanye West and his
fiance have broken up.
He's just too busy.

4/20/08

They were twins, remember?

Tia Mowry of
TV's "Sister Sister" got
married. Slow news day.

4/19/08

They're OK Folks!

Sandra Bullock and
biker husband Jesse James
hit by drunk driver.

4/18/08

It was only released 30 years ago

Sting is being sued.
"I told him about Roxanne"
Says Nevada Man.

4/17/08

Reality is Stupid

I hate Survivor,
American Idol, and
Dancing With The Stars.

4/16/08

You had to be there.

Some sad news today,
Martha Stewart's dog 'Paw Paw'
died at age 13.

4/15/08

Tax Day!

Word on the street is
Ashlee Simpson is pregnant,
but really, who cares.

4/14/08

Oh Sean Penn, you're so difficult.

Sean Penn and his wife
have filed for divorce, oh wait,
they have changed their minds.

4/13/08

No one hurt, no vehicles damaged

Good Ol Britney Spears
was in a fender bender
on Saturday Night.

4/12/08

Stupid Music News

Ashlee Simpson and
Fall Out Boy rocker Pete Wentz
are engaged. Who cares!

4/11/08

Wife Beater

Robert Van Winkle,
AKA Vanilla Ice,
in Florida jail.

4/10/08

Use your blinkers!

Mischa Barton got
herself a DUI and
3 years probation.

4/9/08

I blame the body Thetans

UA has announced
the Tom Cruise Movie "Valkyrie"
is pushed back, again.

4/8/08

Coincidence?

Pavarotti may
have lip synced his final show.
And now he is dead!

4/7/08

Just Weird

Bob Dylan wins a
Pulitzer. Next up, Big Bird
wins a Nobel prize.

4/6/08

Charlton Heston Died

Moses died today.
At last we can take his guns.
Soylent Green tastes good.

4/5/08

Or maybe she's just crazy?

Nic Cage libel suit
settled. The verdict- Kathleen
Turner is a bitch.

4/4/08

Not sure what to send for a gift?

Sources report that
Jay Z and Beyonce Knowles
tied the knot today.

4/3/08

WTF?

Naomi Campbell
was arrested at airport
for spitting on cop.

4/2/08

Getting the band back together

New Kids On The Block
doing new CD and tour.
No, seriously.

4/1/08

Top Story...

Adam Sandler breaks
ankle playing basketball.
Is this really news?

3/31/08

Tom Clancy House Fire

Fire at authors house
causes thousands in damage.
Better write a book.

3/30/08

That's what you get for licking windows.

Jessica Simpson
was at Cedars-Sinai for
kidney infection.

3/29/08

You're not even American?

Elton John supports
Hilary Clinton. I say
mind your own business.

3/28/08

Poison Drummer Arrested

Rikki Rocket of
Poison arrested for rape.
Nice stage name douche bag.

3/27/08

Smiley Liberated!

WalMart has lost the
trademark on the smiley face.
Feel free to use it.

3/26/08

Drunken Rock Stars?

Richie Sambora
arrested for DUI.
He drives a Hummer.

3/25/08

Shazbot!

Oscar winner and
funny man Robin Williams
getting a divorce.

3/24/08

If he's anything, he's persistent.

Jack Kevorkian
is running for congress in
Michigan. Vote Death!

3/23/08

Hey America!

10 finalists left
on American Idol.
Simon Cowell sucks eggs.

3/22/08

Because you're a dumb bitch, that's why.

Britney Spears Dad says
he will be selling off some
of her seven cars.

3/21/08

At last, we can all move on.

Gary Busey has
apologized for groping
Jennifer Garner.

3/20/08

It was apparently Destiny Hope Cyrus?

Miley Cyrus has
legally changed her name to
Miley Ray Cyrus.

3/19/08

Gotta go to court dude

Bench warrant issued
for actor Shia Lebouf-
"Unlawful Smoking"?

3/18/08

2 for the price of 1

Sir Arthur C Clarke
and Anthony Minghella
have both died today.

BONUS From Steve M-
Wrote two thousand one,
Man that had a trippy end.
Kubrick was on 'shrooms.

Next came twenty-ten,
Roy Scheider is dead also.
Look out John Lithgow.

3/17/08

Ola Brunkert dies in accident

ABBA drummer died.
He fell through a window and
cut his throat badly.

3/16/08

Something else for Oprah to throw money at!

Halle Barry and
her long time boyfriend had a
baby girl today.

3/15/08

Whole lot of crazy.

Britney Spears met with
Mel Gibson at restaurant.
What are they up to?

3/14/08

Not really news...

JackAss star Steve-O
has been sent to the nut house.
Did too many drugs.

3/13/08

It could be Criss Angel, seriously.

Minnie Driver is
expecting her first child,
but who is the dad?

3/12/08

Spitzer? I hardly knew her!

Prostitute loving
New York Governor resigns,
effective Monday.

3/11/08

Dawn Wells Gets Probation

Gilligan's Island
Mary Ann, arrested for
smoking "Mary Jane".

3/10/08

2008 Rock n Roll Hall of Fame

The Ventures, Cohen,
John Mellencamp, The Dave Clark
Five, and... Madonna?

3/9/08

Rocker Is Off The Wagon

Scott Weiland pleaded
not guilty to drunk driving.
Pills don't make you drunk.

3/8/08

Another grandchild for the King

Lisa Marie says
she isn't fat, she's pregnant.
Maybe she is both?

3/7/08

New Seinfeld Show?

Rumors say Seinfeld
stars in a new show. Sorry,
but "No Soup For You"!

3/6/08

His name is Barron

Paris Hiltons bro
was charged with a DUI
Do they have parents?

3/5/08

Patrick Swayze is ill

Dirty Dancing star
has pancreatic cancer.
Prognosis is good.

3/4/08

For Geeks Only

Gary Gygax died.
Had an aneurysm and
missed his saving throw.

3/3/08

Mess of Blues

Blind guitar player
Jeff Healy died of cancer.
He was 41.

3/2/08

Van Halen taking a break

The tour is cancelled.
Apparently Eddie is
having some "issues".

3/1/08

Blu-Ray has won

"Into The Wild" is
the last movie released on
HD-DVD.

2/29/08

Pulp Fiction

Which wallet is yours?
You know, it's the one that says
"bad motherfucker".

2/28/08

Royally Lame

Prince Harry sent home
from Afghanistan because
war is dangerous.

2/27/08

Michael Jackson is broke

Up for auction soon,
Neverland Ranch! Complete with
elephant man bones!

2/26/08

Super Model Hospitalized

Naomi Campbell
in for "small cyst removal".
Wait! That is her brain!

2/25/08

Like a baby factory

Word on the street is
that Angelina Jolie
is pregnant again.

2/24/08

Academy Awards

And the winner is-
"No country for old men" by
Joel and Ethan Coen.

2/23/08

Go Lohan Go!

"I Know Who Killed Me"
won 8 Razzie awards and
set a new record!

2/22/08

Pop goes the pop star

Muy caliente!
J-lo and Marc Anthony-
They had twins today.

2/21/08

It's like a tiny U.N.

It is official.
Pax joined the Pitt/Jolie clan.
Lucky little brat.

2/20/08

KISS

Someone has leaked a
Gene Simmons sex tape.
The question is "Why?"

2/19/08

Lindsey Lohan Poses Topless

Lindsey has a nude
spread in New York Magazine.
About God damn time.

2/18/08

Bad Influence

Hannah Montana
is not wearing a seatbelt
in her new movie.

2/17/08

What is wrong with Paris Hilton.

I.M.D.B. says
The Hottie and the Nottie
worst movie ever.

2/16/08

We'll see how long this lasts.

Time Sizemore- out of jail!
Career advice for him. Stop
smoking crystal meth.

2/15/08

Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor not a holiday movie!

Star Trek has been pushed
back from December to May.
Live long and prosper.

2/14/08

Jane Fonda

She is seventy
years old, but you still can't say
"cunt" on Today Show.

2/13/08

Concerning the Island...

Writers went back to work.
I get five more episodes
of LOST. Me so happy. 

2/12/08

Piano Man Retires

Billy Joel will play
Shea Stadium final show.
The Mets still suck though.

2/11/08

Grammy's

Hey Herbie Hancock!
You did that one song- Rockit!
Here, have a Grammy!

2/10/08

He Was 75

Police chief from Jaws:
Roy Scheider died. "You're gonna
need a bigger boat".

2/9/08

WGA Strike Ends

Online movies are
worth one thousand two hundred
dollars. Strike is over.

2/8/08

Punch Line

I would pay to see
Carrot Top and Gallagher
battle to the death.

2/7/08

Actually, I'm shocked

Guess who's in rehab?
No more upside down kisses
for you Kirsten Dunst.

2/6/08

Insanity

Who is crazier?
Tom Cruise or Britney Spears? It's
really hard to tell.

2/5/08

Macho

I won ten bucks in
a game of bloody knuckles
with Morgan Freeman.

2/4/08

Light & Dark

Yin and Yang is like
Amy Winehouse and Miley
Cyrus. Seacrest out.

3 Weeks Until Oscars

If the producers 
write a contract, can writers
produce Oscar script?

2/3/08

Mz Spears

Hurry back Britney.
I miss writing about your
custody battle.

2/2/08

Super Bowl Sunday

Mark Wahlberg said that
the New England Patriots
would win. He was wrong.

2/1/08

So it begins

I just had dinner
at Sizzler with Joe Rogan
and Lindsey Lohan.